Book and Film: The Princess Bride

So I read the book during the Malaysian trip and I have to say I was incredibly disappointed. The film is one of my favorite adventure movies ever (shut up), so much that people find watching it with me around annoying and pretty much impossible because I recite the lines aloud. I know it's annoying but I can't help it. Reading the book gave me little or no pleasure but I stuck with it because I felt compelled to finish it, and I was hoping it would pick up at some point. It didn't really, at least not for me. I was very irritated to discover that the Pit of Despair doesn't exist in the book; instead there is something called the Zoo of Death, completely different from the story I had grown up with. I realize that film production would have been a logistical nightmare and the budget would have been insane but still. I fell into my own pit of despair even when exciting new things were happening all around me.

Everyone was too chatty for my taste as well. Westley wasn't clever enough and he actually slaps Buttercup when she says, "I have loved more deeply than a killer like you could ever dream". In the film, he just raises his hand as a 'warning'. Some hero! Hmph. Buttercup herself is irritatingly dim-witted, I could not get over it. Even the freaking head of security had more lines than I deemed necessary.

Too unsettled by it, I did some research as soon as I got online at home. This 'classic tale of true love and high adventure' is supposedly written by some Florinese guy (bear with me) named S. Morgenstern and is abridged by William Goldman (he is most famous for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid). He also writes the screenplay for the film. It got quite confusing but apparently S. Morgenstern is, wait for it, Mr. Goldman himself. It's supposedly brilliant, the way the book is written, leading readers to believe that places such as Florin and Guilder exist and that the story itself is centuries old. They are, in fact, old (relatively) names for Dutch coins. Yes, it was very silly of me to believe that such places existed but when I grew up, everything was real. I am very impressionable.

Anyway, in light of all of that brouhaha, I grudgingly admit that maybe it is quite clever of the author to have written the book the way he did, I've never read anything like it, but I found it too distracting. There I was, engrossed in the story, hanging onto every word, and then--bam--the author inserts a silly footnote about his fictional son (he has two daughters in real life) smack in the middle of a particularly intense scene. There were so many times I bolted upright in my seat thinking, wtf!

I'm going to watch this film again very soon to get rid of the mental anguish that I've been subjected to and restore the story to the way it is in my head, the way it's meant to be: A classic tale of true love and high adventure with no freakin' running commentary.

A book: Another attempt at studying harder (not its title)

The title is actually The Ultimate French Review and Practice and I found it in Kinokuniya and although it was quite expensive, I got it anyway because we don't have it here. I've leafed through it and so far it looks friendly but I know it's going to be difficult working it into my schedule. I get lots of sleep with this current one hehe. I do love learning but I can't stand studying and I'm always trying to get out of actually doing it. My french class started last Saturday and I missed it because I was still gallivanting but the plan is I'm going to try to come at least an hour earlier so I can sit my ass down and do some exercises. I should like to be done with this book and be all French fortified within two months.

A book: American Psycho

I don't know what to say about this except:

Oh my god I think I'm going to be sick. I had a ham with lettuce and tomato sandwich for a late lunch and I thought I was going to throw it all up. I kept imagining the ham to be raw human flesh and the tomato had the squishy quality of an eyeball or any human part that would feel slimy after being skinned. Ugh. I still feel ill. Brilliant and utterly insane. I want to see Christian Bale as the evil psychopathic Pat Bateman.

A book: Haroun and the sea of stories

It's a cuddly book! I was very wary at first because I'm not a big Rushdie fan (I thought Shame was a disaster) but Paula is and she lent me this book, probably to change my mind. Well good on her (good on you, Paula!) because it has and I am very grateful! I was very tough on it too but after a few chapters, little giggles of delight kept bursting out of me, forced their way out really, despite my best efforts not to be amused. It's got a The Little Prince feel to it, for me anyway, but it holds its own.

A book: Suite Française

My sister borrowed it from her library in Melbourne for me. They're leaving this evening and I've only gotten as far as chapter 20. Nooo! It's really amazing how consistently the author (Irène Némirovsky) depicts the depth and range of emotions the refugees go through as they flee Paris. Also, the clarity of insight in this story is mind-boggling, it means she was writing this story, which is a work of fiction but steeped in history, while it was unfolding. A kind of clarity that is normally found in hindsight. I don't know why I didn't make time to read it all the way through. Huhuhu! I have to wait for bookstores to re-stock before I can get a copy now.

A book: Freakonomics

I've always been fascinated with economics but have never been able to go beyond a basic course because the information comes all at once (it seems that way to me anyway) -- the type that gets very boring very fast, and in frighteningly large amounts of it too -- so I give up. I'm still interested in it and I've tried learning it on my own since and have made incredibly slow progress.

Given my pathetic background on the subject, I was apprehensive to pick up this book but was surprised to have read it with ease, I understood more than I thought I would. Some of the data (there's simply too many of those freakin' name statistics to absorb) went over my head but the things in this book, while probably pretty useless if you expect this knowledge to effect considerable change in the material aspect of your life, are worth at least being aware of.

A book: Streetwise French Dictionary / Thesaurus

I bought this over the weekend and started reading it straight away. So far, so good. This is my first slang dictionary and it's exciting. I don't know why it's taken me this long to develop a proper interest in the language, considering the fact that I studied it in university. I can't remember exactly what I was so preoccupied with. It certainly wasn't French studying. Better late than never, I suppose. I'm finally going to understand those damn expressions with animals in them but almost never involving any.

Books read recently

Got loads of reading done while in Oz:

Utterly Monkey by Nick Laird

I liked the writing and the story was nicely told but I couldn't warm up to the characters properly. Set in the UK and Northern Ireland (I think, can't really remember now).

4.2 chrismiss stars


Animal Farm by George Orwell

I don't know why I haven't read this before. I give it 5 red-hot and sparkling chrismiss stars. It's thought-provoking but adorable first.

5 chrismiss stars yay!


The Sandman Volume 5: A Game of You by Neil Gaiman

Gaiman is amazing, as usual, although I still maintain Smoke and Mirrors as my favorite but then I haven't read all of his works. But I do love the pretty pictures.

5 chrismiss stars

Lady Snowblood Volume 3 by Kazuo Koike

Hot japanese female assassin, born for the purpose of avenging her mother's death by killing her (mother's) sworn enemies. I've been dying to read her story for as long as I can remember. They're always in Japanese when I come across copies in restos and beach resorts here. I don't know why it never occurred to me to check the local bookstores. It just made me want to learn Japanese.

Did I mention that I like pretty pictures accompanying amazing stories? A whopping 5 chrismiss stars.

The Autograph Man by Zadie Smith

Big disappointment since I loved White Teeth and On Beauty. Couldn't stand the protagonist, Alex-Li Tandem. Just like I couldn't stand JD Salinger's Holden Caulfield. Smith still writes well and to be fair, I speed-read the thing because I was running out of time, so I give it:

2.7 chrismiss stars

Books: The Panda and its Parody

BLG lent me another book before he left for Istanbul for a conference. It's this one on the left. I'm halfway through it and I don't want to read it anymore. I've been halfway through it for 2 days now, I'm trying my best to finish it but I just can't do it. I guess my best wasn't good enough huhuhu. When I'm not enjoying a book, I usually try to get to the end of it, just so I can say, "There I'm done and I think it's crap, I know because I suffered this monstrosity to its last word". And sometimes good endings make it all worthwhile. I'll never know if I don't keep reading. But I simply just can't do it with this one. It's horrific. When I have this book open, I keep checking how much further I have left to read and I just, well there's just no bloody end to it. I see myself reading nothing else for weeks, and the thought fills me with dread and anguish. It's a parody (see it written on the bottom bit of the cover) of this book on the right. This is the one I really wanted to read especially because BLG explained why its title is what it is, but he couldn't find it. He thinks he lent it to someone who never returned it. Yay I feel so much better now that I've decided to give up on it. I didn't realize I was being oppressed by this shite book.

A novel: Diary by Chuck Palahniuk

So far I've read about 3 days of the story and it's promisingly disturbing. I'm trying to contain my glee although I know I shouldn't be excited about anything written by him, especially since his short story Guts rendered me ill. I'm not joking, I actually had to put the book down in mid-read to wait for the nausea to pass. Diary seems to be a short read, it's quite a skinny book, but with so many things I have to sort out this month (I may have to fly to Melbourne at the end of September), I doubt I'll have enough solitude time to be able to enjoy it. I shall have to postpone its reading till I can give it my undivided attention. I'll look for Fight Club if I like this one.

A collection of short stories: Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman

Why didn't anyone tell me that this came out?! People, you have a responsibility. When a Haruki Murakami book is released, you don't keep that information to yourself. It's wrong and downright immoral. I didn't even know he was coming out with this. Okay I'll let it slide for now, but next time say something. I was positively despondent for at least two weeks after I finished reading Kafka on the Shore because I knew that that was it, I had read everything he's published that's been translated into English. Aaaargh I need to get to a bookstore quickly! Oh I'm drooling!

A book: The Miracle of Language

I just discovered that my fellow translator at work is a bigger language geek than I am (he's self-studying Romanian and Turkish at the moment, two languages that vaguely fascinated me before but was too distracted at the time to do more than a half-hearted start. I did, however, learn that Dragostea din tei song, otherwise known as the nu ma nu ma iei one. Although I don't know if I should actually be proud of that). Aaanyway, I tried to hold my ground by admitting that I too have tried to self-start on a language, offering a brief summary of my 5-month-long intensive Hebrew learning, in an attempt to quell rising panic because I had just recently graduated and was alarmed (and a little surprised to be honest) to find that I still had no direction in life. Anyway, BLG (bigger language geek) has been kind enough to lend me this book. Yes, it's that picture on the left! It's by a Richard Lederer. I must admit that I have no idea who he is and what he does but I think that he is a good good man. I read the back and I practically squealed, so excited was I about it. Here, you should read the back too! Do it!

Welcome to Richard Lederer's beguiling celebration of language -- of our ability to utter, write, and receive words. No purists need stop here. Mr. Lederer is no linguistic sheriff organizing posses to hunt down and string up language offenders. Instead, join him "In Praise of English," and discover why the tongue described in Shakespeare's day as "of small reatch" has become the most widely spoken language in history:

"English never rejects a word because of race, creed, or national origin. Did you know that" jukebox "comes from Gullah and" canoe "from Haitian Creole?" "Many of our greatest writers have invented words and bequeathed new expressions to our eveyday conversations. Can you imagine making up almost ten percent of our written vocabulary? Scholars now know that William Shakespeare did just that!"

He also points out the pitfalls and pratfalls of English. If a man mans a station, what does a woman do? In the "The Department of Redundancy Department," "Is English Prejudiced?" and other essays, Richard Lederer urges us not to abandon that which makes us human: the capacity to distinguish, discriminate, compare, and evaluate.

Well? Don't tell me that that doesn't just tickle your fancy?! Teehee!

Twelve books, four parts

Work has been rather light today. Although there have been lots of files that needed to be issued and I've had to translate one document after another, I feel neither stressed nor exhausted (still feeling dizzy though, its cause still unidentified). There is a certain repetitiveness about this job that is both comforting and numbing. A delightful combination really. I mentioned when I first started working here that I took this job fully aware of its potential tediousness but because I had found myself with changing priorities, I felt it necessary to relocate myself to a quieter and stabler work environment with fixed rules and reliable hours, so I could think and figure out what I want to do next.

A friend rang me this morning to ask me if I was still interested in working in advertising (I asked him if they were hiring when I first thought of changing jobs), he said they need to fill a position in the creative department. I liiiiike that a lot. He's going to send me an email with more details.

An advertising job. Goodbye quiet introspective time and hello long hours. I've got another friend in advertising, she takes German classes too but at a higher level. She's hardly in class. Why? Because of work. But she does look fabulous. I want to look fabulous. I need to reflect on this further.

Oh yeah why the title? I started reading The Brothers Karamazov online. At work. I've been meaning to read that for about three years now. Hihi. I've finished the first book. It's not as long as it sounds. Well actually I don't know. So far, I've been introduced to a profligate father and his sons from two wives. That's always a good start to any story. Oh yeah and a rather extensive account about monasteries in Russia at the time. Maybe just a tad too much for my taste although Dostoevksy does write it in a lovely way. Not like the 20 pages (it felt like it) Steinbeck devotes on describing a goddamn tumbleweed in The Grapes of Wrath. Needless to say I did not get past the tumbleweed. Some guy I dated at uni gave me a copy in the hopes of educating me because according to him I behaved "like a stupid person". Whatever that means. Hee he was a character all right. Shit poet, but yeah a character. The book sits dusty on my shelf. Oh and apparently only the refined mind can appreciate Steinbeck. At least according to a professor I had years ago. I guess I don't make the cut haha. He was a bit of a shit too.

LAMS

I am ill. Sniff sniff. Of all days. Why todayyy? I like going to work. There's an architecture exhibit I wanted to see later this evening. And that Ghana-USA game is tonight. Aaargh! It's so unfair! Instead I have to stay home and get in super LAMS mode. LAMS is simply Looking After Myself System. LAMS key points are: a LOT of water and a LOT of bedrest. LAMS = LW + LB = chriswellness. Oh. Hmm. Hehe. It doesn't work that way, does it? That would be LAMS = chriswellness right? And that's not. Right, I mean. Hehe I obviously have no clue how equations work. I assure you it works for me, I've been using it for years. Wait wait hold on a minute here. LAMS does equal to my wellness! What the hell's wrong with me. Anyway I started the system yesterday and I am still brimming with water. I made so many toilet trips at work, I think that if I count the minutes I took to get there, have a wee (which was a lot mind you), wash my hands and shuffle back to my desk, it would easily add up to an hour.

I feel useless. Oooh but I do get to read a book today. I purchased Zadie Smith's On Beauty last weekend. It was a choice between this and a book containing all of DH Lawrence's short stories. I do love Daniel but the cover was a disaster. I'm going to wait for a different edition of that. Look at Zadie's. It's pretty. When you judge a book by its cover, it helps settle difficult decisions. Just think, I could still be in that bookstore now. In any case I've started the winning book, so far I'm not hooked yet but I quite liked her White Teeth and the read started out the same way.

So anyway, I called in sick today.