I can't avoid hydrogenated fat

Because my body is in a life-long love affair with it. It's in the foods I enjoy the most and I have said time and time again that I will never change my lovely eating habits. Nevah! If there's Coke, chocolates, cookies and cheese balls around, you can be sure I'll be eating those for dinner until supplies run out. And even at this age, I'm pretty sure I'll "fail" that marshmallow test as well. I will find a way of getting that second marshmallow and this confidence I ooze comes from years of experience.

Anyway I've just realised exactly HOW bad hydrogenated fats (and partially hydrogenated fats; yes, they're bad too and not just partially). I bought some chocolate candies from the local convenience store down the road and was prancing back to the office, enthusiastically popping them candies in my mouth one after the other, when I decided to look at the ingredients. I've decided I'm going to be a pretend health freak temporarily. The candies were screaming HYDROGENATED FAT. Hello, Cardiac Arrest. I nearly choked on my treats.

From what I've read, and I tend to read in a blind panic when hypochondria kicks in, hydrogenated fat (also called trans fatty acids) is created by injecting hydrogen in liquid cooking oils to make them either semi or all solid. Like a stick of butter. That's pretty much what it'll look like inside you. Hydrogenated fat has no nutritional value AT ALL, it just makes packaged "goods" last longer. Like Oreo cookies (why GOd why??). Like breakfast cereal, a, if not the ultimate, chris staple. HF puts the crisp in those potato chips. Yummy. Moreover, it's not like saturated fat that just raises bad cholesterol, it also lowers good cholesterol, the type that clears arteries. How horrible is that? Doubly.

Food labeling is still a bit of an issue as some restaurants (cough Mcdonald's) refuse to provide their consumers a complete list of ingredients that go into their food while also refusing to use healthier oil in the preparation of it. WTF right? No law has been passed regarding that yet. And while some companies do label their goods (oh how noble of them), they do so in a misleading manner. For instance, let's say a product's label says it's got 0 trans fat in it. Good right? I'm not sure what our lovely country has to say about this health issue but according to some laws (US), companies are allowed to label their products 0 trans fat if a serving of the product contains only half a gram of it or less. So yeah, chances are you're still going to be a fatty.

Where does that leave us? Briefly, nowhere healthy: We're eating ourselves to death. But I think if we just eat an apple every day, we're sorted.

I've been writing about health stuff so much lately that I've caught the attention of some health blogging community site and they've asked me to join as a contributor. They urge me to join but only if I deem my writing appropriate for the topic of health. Hehe I don't know what that means. It could very well just be some stupid spam thing but, boy, getting that email really made my day. Haha I'm still chuckling about it now. And I ate the bad candies after all, and it made me feel both good and bad about myself. It was an unusual experience, I may have to experiment some more before reaching a well-founded conclusion.

Dental date #1

I dreaded going to the dentist when I was younger and my mom used to tell me and my sisters that we were going to the carnival but always neglected to mention that we were stopping by the dentist's office first. The dread never really went away as I got older and I put off scheduling dental checkups for as long as I could, and only until my parents' nagging got to be too much. Recently, though it's been tricky to squeeze checkups into my disorganised schedule, I've begun to really enjoy getting my tooth cleaned and just generally having someone fuss over me for an hour or so. I always feel like fasting after cleaning because I didn't want to get my teeth dirty.

Today I went to see my dentist and had the first session in what I project to be a year-long series. It's not as expensive as I initially estimated so I will probably see her more than once a month. Here's to healthier teeth in 2007. How strange that I'm growing more and more obsessed with my health lately. What is the world coming to? Ack the climate changes are wreaking havoc on behavioral patterns of living creatures! Crazy? Maybe so. But I'm still going to look into it.

Stealth health

Ugh Broncho Girl is still at it. This is her second week of coming to work ill. She's coughing on her keyboard her monitor her seatmates. This is so wrong. Yesterday she sat with us while eating. I made sure I sat as far away from her as possible. She offered some of what she was eating because she's such a nice person and I almost blurted out, I don't want any of YOUR germs on my food and certainly not in my system! Instead I shook my head and politely declined. Just earlier, she was complaining to her seatmate that she was getting tired of the numerous trips to the bathroom to spit out the phlegm she was coughing up. GROSS! Just fucking stay home already!!

Anyway, moving on to MY health: I went to see the heart doctor this morning. I was reading up on persistent chest pains yesterday and the research led to articles on various heart conditions. Anyway Mr Doctor said what I thought all along. Lack of exercise! Apart from that, I'm hale and hearty. Woohoo where's my medical diploma?

So maybe if I go around saying BG's condition is contagious and the office's poor ventilation could easily turn it into an epidemic, maybe she'll be shamed into staying home and the others won't be so touchy-feely with her. Don't they understand that she's unclean and that SHE'S BREATHING HARMFUL GERMS OUT INTO THE WORKPLACE? Shun her! Shun her!

I could be mass hysteria all by myself.

Hypochondria in overdrive

Help! I'm surrounded by disease. Several people have been sniffling and coughing all over the workplace, it's driving me insane. I don't know what to do. I hold my breath when I walk past someone who's being particularly gross but I can't keep holding my breath! They're everywhere. Coughing and coughing and clearing their throats wetly and sniffling and sneezing and releasing their germs out into the world. Ugh. Yes, I'm really particular about being around people who sound ill. I can't stand hearing wet sounding coughs and runny noses being blown. Why can't they just call in sick? They're contaminating the rest of us who aren't. Ugh. So inconsiderate. Maybe I should call in sick. I'm sick of this shit.

One of our officemates has been diagnosed with bronchial pneumonia. I overheard her talking about having come back from the doctor's. I'm a mild hypochondriac so I looked it up. It IS contagious. She's been coughing since last week and even lost her voice mid-week. She's up to a raggedy whisper now. I don't understand why she keeps talking. She sounds so ill. I'm really bothered. At first I was concerned about her health and kept telling her to take a few days off and get lots of rest and see the doctor. You know, all good advice. But she won't and I think I know why. She's one of those people who work their asses off waiting to be recognised for their hard work and getting praised for being such a wonderful worker and how they're such a credit to the company. Bullshit. She is NOT going to get a raise for this. Ugh I wish I could shake some sense into her but I'm afraid she'll cough germs in my face. I kept reminding her that should she be hospitalized, the company will only cover so much of her medical expenses. They don't care after they've fulfilled their obligation. It's a business not Red Cross. The sicker she gets and the longer she stays sick, the more expensive the treatment will get. Yet she won't take heed. Well I'm through telling her to go home. I'm so pissed off at her now for being an idiot about this. Doesn't she understand that no one cares if she keels over and dies? Everyone will say oh what a crying shame, she was such a sweet girl. But they'll eventually have someone clear the mess. The next day, someone will be sitting at her desk. Business as usual. She's being a moron. Ugh she should just go home. Last night, she had a coughing fit that lasted at least half an hour. It was nasty. I half-hoped she'd faint so they'd have to take her to the clinic or even better, the hospital, and keep her there until she's better.

Breathe again (hehe)

I'm still alive. Apparently my heart is too relaxed. That's what Nurse G says (yes, I think it's a ridiculous thought too). We usually walk together after work to our respective stops and she's always brimming with remedies and diagnoses whenever something afflicts me. I don't like to bother her with my health problems when we're walking because, well, apart from the fact that I seem to have so many, it is after work hours and she may be sick (pardon the weak pun) of dealing with ailing employees. But she insists on knowing, so I tell her.

I have been walking two kilometers morning and night since and I find that I feel much better. Although I suspect it is the work of endorphins, I let myself relax (but not too much, of course). I checked my pulse prior to all this walking nonsense and my heartbeats were at 60 per minute, weak ones at that. Even though I don't know what 'weak' is, I was duly alarmed. It's better today though, I checked it again this morning and my heart gives me 70 stronger ones now. My lungs feel okay and my heart is more upbeat but now my hip is sore and I walk with a slight limp because I do not stretch. I can't win.

Barely breathing

I've been having trouble breathing this past week. I don't like taking meds and I'm not a big fan of doctors. Yup, I'm one of those. When I don't feel well, I just drink a lot of water and rest as much as I can and that usually does it. There's never been anything seriously wrong with my respiratory system until now.

Now, I'm usually good at sleeping, I can pretty much sleep anywhere anytime if I decided I wanted a nap. But last night it took me over two hours to fall asleep, mainly because I was afraid I might stop breathing in my sleep. By midnight, I was making a conscious effort to take deep steady breaths. I must have overdone it because I got really lightheaded and a bit nauseated. Hehe I never would have pegged me as a stupid breather. Hehe.

Anyway, it didn't improve at all throughout today. In fact, breathing became even more laboured as the day wore on. I kept getting urges to breathe more and more deeply until my chest hurt. I found that bit worrying. I've decided to monitor things for at least a week.

I'm guessing this whole breathing episode was brought on by a combination of general poor health, a lack of exercise and eating habits that rock (yeah!) but not so good for the body. Oh yeah and the smoking bit but I'm putting a stop to that, well at least until I'm sure it isn't emphysema or lung disease.

To start things off, I had a wonderful salad for dinner and walked two kilometers on the treadmill when I got home. I didn't want to run straight away because I'm lazy and weak. We'll see how things go.

No time for being ill

Maybe this is payback for calling in sick last Friday when I wasn't actually physically ill. I've been running a slight fever and feeling generally weak since the start of this week and I've been conserving energy because I get so tired with the littlest things. I've refused to call in sick till today. Well I said I would try to come in and work the second half of my shift. I can't call in sick as that may jeopardize my trip to KL next month for a week. Paula and I booked our flights ages ago (last April) with Air Asia because flying with them is dirt cheap. 4k for a roundtrip fare! Score! Anyway so yeah, I'm really excited about that and I'm supposed to behave like a model employee until the supervisor approves my leave. I was supposed to talk to him about it today but forget that, I'll have to wait until next week. He's just come out of a management training seminar/conference as well and he's been walking around with folders in his hand and looking very serious and busy all week. I wonder if this affects my chances of going on holiday ever again.

I've got a nice dinner tomorrow night and I get to dress up and I can't be ill for that! And the big company party is on Saturday and I have to go! We get to wear costumes and everything. I was supposed to go as Chun Li but my cheongsam looks nothing like hers and because her thighs are unbelievably ripped in a I-can-kill-you-with-these-big-mommas-so-don't-even-try-it way while mine are nice and they wobble in a friendly way from time to time. Come to think of it, it could very well be one of those cosplay conventions I keep hearing about. Not sure how I feel about that now.

Setback

I've been feeling a little run down lately. I thought maybe I was still convalescing from two weeks ago. But I haven't been sleeping properly, I get myself to bed same time as usual but I feel too restless to drift off straight away. But I don't want to do anything, I can't concentrate on reading for more than 5 minutes. And I always feel tired in the morning even after sleeping in later than I usually do. I stopped running (and I wasn't even doing that regularly to begin with), my head feels bloated and fluffy, if that's even possible, which my mom insists are just hunger headaches. She thinks I'm not getting enough food. I don't know about that. And I've had this upset stomach for a while now.

I watch more than usual too. Last night I saw 3 House episodes one after the other. I used to be addicted to TV before but that was years ago and besides I'm hardly ever home long enough to find anything good to watch. I only watch television now when I'm not feeling well...or when I'm brooding about something. So whatever's bothering me could be emotional. Puzzling. I don't have anything to be depressed about. At least I don't think so.

Oh my sister comes home today, she gets discharged later this afternoon. She's staying at home to recuperate. Meaning I get kicked out of V's room, since she's got the most orderly room. Hihi oh dear. Operation TuMY phase II isn't going very well. Actually I haven't figured out what that phase involves. Amazing as my room is, it is still in shambles.

France and Portugal battle it out tonight. Hee! Come on Zizou!

LAMS

I am ill. Sniff sniff. Of all days. Why todayyy? I like going to work. There's an architecture exhibit I wanted to see later this evening. And that Ghana-USA game is tonight. Aaargh! It's so unfair! Instead I have to stay home and get in super LAMS mode. LAMS is simply Looking After Myself System. LAMS key points are: a LOT of water and a LOT of bedrest. LAMS = LW + LB = chriswellness. Oh. Hmm. Hehe. It doesn't work that way, does it? That would be LAMS = chriswellness right? And that's not. Right, I mean. Hehe I obviously have no clue how equations work. I assure you it works for me, I've been using it for years. Wait wait hold on a minute here. LAMS does equal to my wellness! What the hell's wrong with me. Anyway I started the system yesterday and I am still brimming with water. I made so many toilet trips at work, I think that if I count the minutes I took to get there, have a wee (which was a lot mind you), wash my hands and shuffle back to my desk, it would easily add up to an hour.

I feel useless. Oooh but I do get to read a book today. I purchased Zadie Smith's On Beauty last weekend. It was a choice between this and a book containing all of DH Lawrence's short stories. I do love Daniel but the cover was a disaster. I'm going to wait for a different edition of that. Look at Zadie's. It's pretty. When you judge a book by its cover, it helps settle difficult decisions. Just think, I could still be in that bookstore now. In any case I've started the winning book, so far I'm not hooked yet but I quite liked her White Teeth and the read started out the same way.

So anyway, I called in sick today.